Blocking It Out

Aside
I found this today while looking for my log-in for McNeese… it was an email to my high school coach regarding my status at the end of my freshman year. Wow. I literally don’t even remember this. Life is crazy.
“So I talked to Steve today, we didn’t even just talk much about it but I’m just not mad at him. He’s been real great so I can’t be mad. Ty, him and I had a meeting today. They are both glad to release me and said they’d talk to the coach at Michigan State for me because that’s where I want to go…. But they had one main concern. Neither of them feel I will be able to pass a physical at State. In fact, Ty doesn’t even want me to throw here anymore, they want me to get a medical note which will not allow me to compete but will give me my same scholarship for 3 more years (because I was injured here). Coach Ty does not feel my back will get to the point of being able to throw without causing more injury or causing incredible pain (based on speaking with the trainers, and going off what the doctors have said). He said it was up to me, I can stay at McNeese and go to school for free and not compete. Or take a chance and try to compete at State. He says he really doesn’t see a way for me to compete because my doctor down here isn’t going to release me. If I can get the Dr from Traverse City I can at least try, but they both feel I will not be able to pass the physical and so I won’t be allowed to compete there. They said I was too young to risk my back, because if I continue throwing there’s a good chance I’ll have to have back surgery much sooner rather than later. I told Coach Steve that track and field is the only thing I have ever been good at it, and he laughed. He said, though, there was a time for us to walk away from things. And they agree with my doctor that it would be in the best interest of me to not continue training and throwing. They were very willing to go with whatever I decided and said they’d go ahead and talk to Chris (coach at MSU). My mom and dad are furious and say I’m just giving up, but my pain gets worse doing the littlest things, and sometimes even doing nothing. I get sick the pain is so bad sometimes. They just don’t seem to understand. I really want to give it my all but with a Dr and a coach whose had a lot of experience with athletes telling me I shouldn’t risk it, I have to admit I trust them more than my parents opinions. Ty told me to think about how much pain I’m in now, and how much worse naturally it’ll be when I’m 40. He asked if throwing was worth being crippled?¬†They genuinely seemed to care and said they’d be totally supportive in whatever I decide and to take my time deciding but they would go ahead and get me released in case. They told me if I am really worried about having a good education and can afford it, they would transfer to State because it’s where I want to go and my family is in Michigan¬†– and since I only came here to throw and now I won’t be able too. But Ty and Steve said if I wanted to stay here and get a free education, that would be a good idea too.
I just thought I’d let you know my options as of now……
Jessica”