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Thought Catalog

1. Check your phone to see if it’s magically dialing the person you’re currently shit-talking. Why do we do this? Your phone is on the table in front of you. Do you think it’s just going to get taken over by a ghost and start dialing your frenemy so they can hear all the horrible things you’re saying about them? We all apparently suffer from some severe form of PTSD after experiencing butt dials that have gone terribly awry. Butt-dialing is a serious epidemic and it will RUIN YOUR LIFE. IT WILL CALL THE ONE PERSON IT’S NOT SUPPOSED TO CALL. I guess I understand why we’re all paranoid then. Your phone is a little asshole that’s out to destroy your friendships! Don’t trust that bitch.

2. Text phantom people when you’re alone and anxious in a public setting. Technology has turned us into such freaks, I swear. The fact…

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